Roses

Roses are a waste of time

They lie to you

Making you think they’re beautiful

But really, they’re covered in thorns

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That will scratch you

And hurt you

And prick you

And wound you

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You thought you wanted beauty

When really you wanted the sun

You thought you thirsted for flowers

When really you needed water

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Roses are a fucking waste of time

Let them grow in the fields

While you stand tall

Go off and be your own flower.

 

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Grad School, Careers, and Other Thoughts on Adulting

I graduated with my degree in English last Spring, and I have to say it feels good to have that accomplishment under my belt. I have a field and belong to a community of grads and writers, and it’s cool to connect with people who have the same interests as me. Attending events like BookCon has shown me how following my interests can lead me to meet great people and have lovely experiences.

In college, I had been able to do poetry readings and attend literary events. I realize that the fun of all this really comes from connecting with people and sharing my work.

I self-published some poetry after I graduated, fulfilling a dream I’ve had since I was twelve. The support I’ve gotten from others has been heart-warming and inspiring. Because it is self-publishing (and because it’s poetry), I have not sold a large amount of books, but several people have bought them. It’s given me first-hand experience in creating, marketing and selling a product. And I think, at 22 years old, it’s pretty cool that I can have that experience.

I started taking driving lessons, which hasn’t been my favorite thing. I enjoy driving on side streets, but I don’t like driving in traffic. I know it’s important to be able to travel independently, so I’ll keep trying. It would be nice, though, to move to a city where I could get around without driving too much.

I’ve read a ton of books since graduating, mostly YA fiction. John Green, Rainbow Rowell, David Levithan, JK Rowling… all my personal heroes. I would love to start reading more classics, like The Canterbury Tales, Wuthering Heights, and The Great Gatsby. It would probably help if I used the library to save money, but I do love buying my books. I’ve also listened to music: Selena Gomez’s Revival, Sara Bareilles’s Waitress, and Bleachers’s Strange Desire. Then of course, there’s the shows I’ve been binge-watching: The Fosters, Chasing Life, Switched at Birth, The Fosters, Friends, did I mention The Fosters?!?!

Embracing my sexuality has been important for me as well. I started coming out as bisexual. When Ingrid Nilson came out, she said her world got a whole lot bigger, and I can really relate to this. I have learned so much about sexuality and gender, and I’m so grateful for that. Living authentically makes life so much better. It makes you face your fears, and that makes you brave.

Ellen says you just have to live your truth, and I agree with this. It’s all about self love.

I thought about going to grad school. I wrestled with the idea for a while. If I went, it would be to get an MFA in creative writing or an MA in English. I was stressed out because the application deadlines for the fall were approaching, but I decided not to go. I know school will always be there. I want to live life outside of school and accomplish things and find my way in the world.

So, now I’m just figuring out my career and my life and everything that comes with it. It helps me to get organized, and to take small steps. Small accomplishments make a big difference. And at the end of the day, what matters most is that you take care of yourself and try your best. So, that’s what I’m doing.

 

 

Movie Star Couple

“I saw a movie star couple in a sandwich café

They looked right out of a magazine, a glamorous display

I could tell by their verse that their friendship was new

And that the male had a heartbreak that still hurt him anew

And I wondered what kind of movie life this couple would live

Would it be comic romance or tragedy with no win?

I bet they both were nervous and they both had told some lies

To themselves to feel more confident in a dance of old disguise

Because to reveal one’s true self in a setting that is new

And yet familiar, new beginnings, like the freshest morning dew

It’s a frightful thing and yet embraced as a rose soaks in the sun

As two people enter a simple place, and hope to walk out as one.”

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-Ashley Tiara Lilly, A Beautiful Journey: Book 1

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Thanks for reading! My poetry books are available here:

http://www.amazon.com/Ashley-Tiara-Lilly/e/B01AAXMC16/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1452638207&sr=8-1

Pretty Dresses

“Pretty dresses are displayed in the window of a little shop

I admire them as I walk past

Sipping hot coffee, sweet like caramel

And nibbling on a pastry that makes flaky crumbs with every bite

The day is calm and just cool enough to not be cold

I wear a light jacket

There are few enough people around for it to not feel crowded

But also for it to not feel empty

I stop to look at the dresses

My eyes are enchanted by red glitter and rhinestone studs

There is a silvery gown so lovely that I imagine myself wearing it

With the small black bag slung over the incomplete shoulder of the manikin

I am then drawn to a lovely floral skirt

Paired with a short-sleeved, blue top

And I imagine wearing it and dancing in a place I’ve never been

Surely, the right outfit can help me travel the world

If I look the part, then I can play it

I play dress up in my mind for a moment at most

And continue my walk on this gentle day

I did not try a single thing on

And yet somehow, I walk away feeling more beautiful.”

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-Ashley Tiara Lilly, Candy-Coated Dreams, A Beautiful Journey: Book 3

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Thanks for reading! My poetry books and e-books are available here:

http://www.amazon.com/Ashley-Tiara-Lilly/e/B01AAXMC16/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1452638207&sr=8-1

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#Poetry