Dignity

 

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I met a man who had

No roof over his head

He didn’t have extra clothes

Or a lot of money in his pocket

He didn’t have perfect health

And maybe he didn’t always have

Enough to eat. But I’ll tell you what he

Did have. He had friends and people

Who trusted him and cared about him

He had a desire to inspire and uplift

Others, even if they were better off

Than him. He had hope that things

Would get better for him. And was open

To talking to others, even when he had

To be so cautious while living on the

Streets. He wasn’t a homeless person

He was a person who happened to be

Homeless. He had a name and I wish I

Could remember it. I don’t know where

He is now. But I’d like to think he’s okay

That he’s managed to get a job, and has

A place to live where he can be warm

And eat dinner while watching TV

And can hang out with his friends

Talking about sports or movies. And

Can afford good doctors and extra

Clothes and a toothbrush. I hope he

Has a roof over his head, and that he

Continues to inspire others. And

Continues to be open to meeting new

People, even in this world where you

Have to be so aware and so cautious

I hope that he is better off.

Sunlight

Sunlight trickles from your hands

And into the causes that give you

Life. You hold onto the people

Who need you, to the ones who

Have watched their dreams shatter

Who the world has neglected as they

Try, in spite of everything, to build

A home and a future. You work to

Heal the hurting because you deal

With your own pain. And you’ve been

There, you know what it’s like to be

All alone with the thing that makes

You different. And you won’t let other

People be alone. It gives you purpose

It keeps you going. And every once in

A while, when your own days are hard,

Someone pays attention. Someone

Sees you need help, too. And they reach

Into their pocket to give some of that

Beautiful, needed sunlight back to you.

Not feeling great

Not feeling great at the moment. I have a lot of life decisions to make. I always want to put as much thought into my decisions as possible, but that also stresses me out a lot and can cause me not to act either way. I want to have a good life. It all seems so complicated. Choosing one thing tends to mean saying no to another, and it’s hard to let go. I get lost and lonely, and no one really gets what I’m going through. I’m trying to focus on one thing at a time, but that can still be hard. I just want things to work out.

Right now I just want to have a good job. I have my bachelor’s, but I’m thinking of taking classes at community college so I can specialize in something and gain more skills. It could connect me with a community of people and could help me define my path. I could also pursue a job I’m already qualified for, but it wouldn’t give me the same sense of stability. If I go to school, I’ll have to get financial aid and work part time so I can afford it. Not that the cost of community college will add much to the pile of debt I already have.

There’s so many things I want to do. I always feel like a bunch of things are pulling for my attention at once. But I know I have to focus, at least for a little while, to make any real progress. I keep getting overwhelmed and lonely and depressed. Everything feels hard.

The Stage

I felt the stage beneath my body

I felt the lights on my skin

I lived in that moment

Nothing else existed

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They didn’t always love me

But they loved me then

I was an idea

I was an image that made them laugh

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And I would give anything for that electricity

To charge through my veins

On a normal day

On a normal street

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With me just being me

The stage transforms you

It makes people notice you

It makes people care when they didn’t before.