Love Story

Everyone deserves a love story

But are any of them ever clean?

They are guaranteed

To take your breath away

.

They are sure to change you

To challenge you to grow

But if you’re not careful

The wrong one

.

In the wrong place

At the wrong time

Can ease into your weak points

And destroy you

.

Sometimes, it feels

Beyond recognition

But even in a good love story

As it grows, rises, and ends

.

There are remnants of your former self

That crumbled in the process

Of breaking and healing

And shaping new beginnings

.

Together or apart

There are always new beginnings

And the parts of you that broke away

Are somewhere in the stars

.

You set out to know someone else

But in the process

A new You emerged

And you have to get to know her, too

.

Love seems like a thing to have

But it is an entity

That transmutes you

Into the heart creature you were meant to be

.

And the story

However brief or however long

Lives in your heartbeat

Alters your pathways of reason

.

You are perhaps wiser

You are perhaps stronger

You are perhaps more You

You are perhaps cleaner

.

You traced the depths of your emotions

Into your palms

You survived hellos and daydreams and goodbyes

Perhaps one too many goodbyes

.

And in the end

Invisible ink is tattooed on your skin

The secret moments of your own love story

As you look to the horizon, whispering, “Let me write another.”

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Goodbye Sunshine

Things were good

Sweet and slow

I liked that we were going

At the same, soft pace

.

Step by step

Springtime dance

Only it was autumn

With our gentle fire

.

Nothing was easy

But the moments were worth it

Sweet, silent whispers

Of “I trust you”

.

And I felt good

Watching this rosebud form

I asked you

“Would you like to see it blossom?”

.

We glimpsed the future

The sunshine, the rain

A glimmer of a chance

For Us

.

And I enjoyed the here and now

Reaching out

Confident

Eternally unsure

.

I didn’t just have to grow with you

I had to grow with myself

Not just hearing me and you

But hearing all the voices in my head

.

All the madness in my heart

All of my own fears

That I wasn’t really going to be loved

And it all feels so silly now

.

Worrying and questioning

What I had

When I had it

You were there, and I couldn’t trust it.

.

Our flower opened up

Just a little

To all the light

I opened my heart to you

.

Let a little love

Pour out to you

Because I started to feel brave

And sure

.

And you echoed

All the light back

And I felt

Like I was home

.

The next day

You started to pull away

Pushed back, didn’t hear me

I thought I knew the reasons

.

But there was so much I didn’t know

So much I couldn’t know

So much you could have told me

But it took so long to trust me

.

And now I’m not so sure

If I can be trusted.

I felt so abandoned

Love crumbled

.

And it was no one’s fault

But how was I to know?

How was I to know

Things couldn’t change?

.

After letters and proof

I found my way back to you

Passed a test

And you added honey

.

To my mornings again

I let you take the lead

You held out your hand

And every time, I took it

.

But after a while

It seemed you didn’t like it

Because I was just like the rest

Another who couldn’t be trusted

.

I had to break down walls

Before they could form

Before they could divide us again

And for a while

.

When I was sure hope was lost

We were in a sanctuary

Of trust, gentleness, and conversation

And I started to feel safe

.

Sometimes feeling safe

Is the biggest mistake.

When things were new

I wanted to be there with you

.

But dark clouds loomed

And you shut me out

I’m not passing any blame around

I just missed you

.

But in the meantime

You had cracked open

You trusted me with you deepest thoughts

And I thought we were in this together

.

Moving forward, a steady song

And you started to drift away again

And I needed to see you

So I tried to make our flower blossom

.

Tried to create a whole garden

My love was something

You held in your hand

But I knew you didn’t want to hold on tight

.

Really, really, really

I should have known

But I needed

To see you

.

You put up walls

You built moats

You didn’t make it easy

For me to enter your kingdom

.

And yet you opened doors

And yet you called off soldiers

And yet you sent an invitation

And yet pulled me near

.

In the end

Your walls went up higher

Than they had ever been

And I was left

.

To leave messages between bricks

There’s no time to cry in a kingdom

And now I just wait

Soft glances toward your fortress

.

I know you think

That I’m just like the rest

Leaving so easily

Not caring

.

But I wonder if you’ll let me

Hold on.

I’m not passing any blame around

I just miss you

.

I think back to those early days

The first hellos

The first jokes

The first sense

.

That this could be something real

When we walked at that slow, soft pace

Step by step

With our gentle fire

.

And now I wonder

If maybe that was the problem

We started off slow

And then we were at different speeds

.

When I was ready to race ahead

You still wanted to take your time

And then you stopped altogether

And vanished

.

And I looked back

Wondering how we could press rewind.

I wanted you too much

To let you take the lead

.

Because so much so

I wanted you to know

That you were one of the best things

That ever happened to me

.

I’m not passing any blame around

I just missed you.

And I don’t want to dance alone

I hate the feeling of you being gone

.

Never knowing if you’ll reach out again

Never knowing if you’ll let me take your hand

Never knowing if you’ll like the feeling

Never knowing if you’ll see I’m not like the rest.

Whale Songs

The ocean feels so far tonight

I can’t decipher the whale songs

Even though their melodies

Drift into the forest

And I’m left thirsty

For the music

.

I am a conch shell

On the coast

Half-buried in sand

I am nobody’s home

I’m just in the shadow of the moonlight

Wrapped up in the tent of cold

Listening out for ocean waves

I want to be washed away

.

But I can’t ask for the horizon

I have to settle for the memories

Every time the ocean

Drifts away from me.

And I can’t see

In the seaside dark.

The stars that shine

Don’t seem to shine for me

As I drift further

Into the sandy sea.

Ronan: Ghoul of the Underworld

[Hi 🙂 It’s been a while since I posted anything. I’ve recently started my master’s degree and I’ve been busy busy busy. In an attempt to keep the writing magic alive, here’s a story/poem I’ve had in my head for a few days. Happy October! ❤ ] 

My first impression of Earth
Is that it is too bright
Much more luminous
Than the Underworld

It makes me ache for home
But I have a job to do
My ears twitch at the sound
Of car tires and sirens

But my fingers
Rest upon cool bricks
As I step into the shadows
Of an alley

Where a body lay
Of a man with a dirty jacket
And a beard peppered with gray
His pulse has been silent for hours

I pull a jar from my bag
Its glass as clear as water
Orbs of blue, green, and orange light
Swirling around in a dance

The orbs of light
Are human souls
I pull out my dagger
Inscribed with ancient texts

And I speak one of the chants aloud
In my native, whispery tongue
The dagger glows with black and green energy
And an orange soul emerges from the man’s ear

With my blade,
I guide it to the jar
Capturing the orb.
It panics at first

Zig-zagging around
But with a second chant
The spirit is sedated
And it floats to the bottom

Into a deep sleep.
I check my assignment scroll
And see that this corpse
Is a Category D5

He has no family
No close ties
And no one knows he is here
I whisper a final chant

And the body fades away
Sending him to be buried
With his closest ancestors
Embraced by Mother Earth

My name is Ronan
Ghoul of the Underworld
Daughter of Rylan and River
And I have just captured my first soul.