Trying to find my way

Nothing much to say. Applying for jobs is a soul-sucking experience. It’s impossible to do it without feeling sad. I don’t understand why basic survival has to be placed so far out of reach, especially for recent college grads. I feel like everything I want to do isn’t realistic. I don’t know where to start so that I can have my own life. I’m feeling pretty lost and hopeless and I don’t know when things will get better.

I know lots of people can relate to these feelings. Hopefully we can get through it all together.



Life after college: hacking my education

There’s a lot of pressure when you graduate from college. It feels like you’re expected to automatically start doing big, amazing things (while earning an impressive paycheck). But the reality is, transitioning into the “real world” doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process. Life is a journey and we are always growing.

There’s also this feeling that adulthood is this one, big thing that we have to have all planned out. But the truth is, it’s not like that at all. Everyday is a new beginning. And a new chance to learn, grow, connect, create, and be our best selves.

I spent a long time feeling stressed out about whether I should go to grad school or not. I still might, but I know if I do it, it will be for the same reason I did undergrad. Not for money or a job, but for personal enrichment.

School provides structure and gives you an idea for what a few years of your life will look like, and that’s super tempting to go back to. But it also costs a lot of money. And unless you have a specific career in mind (that you will actually enjoy doing), it’s not always worth the investment.

I realize that I don’t need grad school or community college to learn new skills. I want to attend workshops and learn new skills outside of traditional classrooms. There’s several things I’d like to learn more about, from coding to design to business. I want to hack my education, because the truth is, there is always room to grow and to better myself.

Having a degree gives you certain credentials, and how much you need advanced degrees depends on the job you want. I know that I don’t want to be limited to doing one kind of job, and so I want to do what I can to keep my options open.

I’ve been out of college for a year, and my idea of what I want in life has changed a lot as I’ve experienced different things. I realize that I need to be patient and open-minded. This is my journey, and I am doing just fine with where I am.

I used to think it was so important to have a career. But what matters to me now is having a Life’s Work. There are some kinds of work that you will do, and maybe it won’t get you a lot of money, but it’s still valid and it still matters.

I’m trying to take life one day at a time. And trying not to worry about the future. I don’t need to impress anyone or live the way anyone else thinks I should live.

The world is my oyster. And as I think about hacking my education, gaining new skills, and trying different things, I feel like that statement is true.

I’m doing okay, and so are you.




Not feeling great

Not feeling great at the moment. I have a lot of life decisions to make. I always want to put as much thought into my decisions as possible, but that also stresses me out a lot and can cause me not to act either way. I want to have a good life. It all seems so complicated. Choosing one thing tends to mean saying no to another, and it’s hard to let go. I get lost and lonely, and no one really gets what I’m going through. I’m trying to focus on one thing at a time, but that can still be hard. I just want things to work out.

Right now I just want to have a good job. I have my bachelor’s, but I’m thinking of taking classes at community college so I can specialize in something and gain more skills. It could connect me with a community of people and could help me define my path. I could also pursue a job I’m already qualified for, but it wouldn’t give me the same sense of stability. If I go to school, I’ll have to get financial aid and work part time so I can afford it. Not that the cost of community college will add much to the pile of debt I already have.

There’s so many things I want to do. I always feel like a bunch of things are pulling for my attention at once. But I know I have to focus, at least for a little while, to make any real progress. I keep getting overwhelmed and lonely and depressed. Everything feels hard.