Your Heart

You cannot simply give

Your heart away

It is worth too much

Give it to someone

Who is worth the wait


Clutch at sheets

Secret kisses

That taste like wine

And a heady swirl of forever


Clutch at locks of hair

Memorize smiles

And wrinkles between brows

Store laughter in glass jars

And take them out

You’ll need them

To remember the good times

When everything goes to shit.


Hold hands, share silences

Eat too much cake

And not enough greens

Watch too many movies

And not enough weather reports

Eat breakfast in bed

And notice that the sun

Feels a little bit warmer

Shines a little bit brighter


Enjoy well-deserved moments

Of bliss

Locked in the gaze

Of starry eyes


But do not simply give

Your heart away

Not now.

Not yet.

Save it for the person

Who is worth the wait

Everything in between

Is a snapshot.




Identity Politics

Identity is a powerful thing. The more we grow and evolve in life, the more we tend to gain clarity about “who” we are. Some of us find confidence and solidarity in labels: Gay, Strait, Bisexual, Pansexual, Queer, Trans, Nonbinary, Man, Woman, Black, White, Latina, Asian, Deaf, Teacher, Doctor, Nurse, Student, Activist, Artist, Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Pagan, Atheist, and on and on. There are so many identities we can embody and several that can define us all at once.

Often, labels can help us to understand ourselves and our place in the world. This is especially true for minorities and marginalized groups. A simple label can give a person a sense of community, liberation, and something to stand for. Our identities often drive what we want from politicians and social campaigns. We go as far as to label our political stances: Democrat, Republican, Liberal, Conservative, Independent. The very thing that can bring people together can also divide us, creating an Us vs. Them mentality.

Some people don’t like to label themselves at all. Not their sexuality, not their gender, not their race, not their belief system, not their politics. People who prefer not to fit into any one category may find themselves being pressured to choose a side, or to fit neatly into a box that everyone can readily understand and, consequently, judge.

Labels can change over time. A person can go from being an Atheist to a Christian to a Buddhist. A person can go from being a woman to gender-fluid. A person can go from being conservative to liberal. Few people stay in the same boxes their whole lives. We are creatures of change.

I think labels can be valuable. They give us a sense of self and purpose. But I also think fitting into a box can be limiting. When it comes to politics, many (not all) gay people will take a stand for gay rights and social acceptance. Many (not all) women will stand for women’s rights and feminism. Many (not all) immigrants will stand for other immigrants and refugees. But it can create a problem when people only take a stand for their own identities.

If people who are not directly impacted by the struggles faced by the LGBT community, the deaf community, people with developmental disorders, people with mental illnesses, Black people, Hispanic people, etc, aren’t as educated or involved, what does it say about political movements? If our politics are mostly driven by personal experience, how can we expect others to step outside of their own experiences to understand our needs?

I think we need to challenge ourselves to step outside of our own labels. I think sometimes our politics need to transcend our identities. And I think the way we do that is by educating ourselves on the experiences of people who are different from us. Otherwise, we’re stuck in our own bubbles, surrounded by a group (some smaller than others) that understands our struggles and our fight, remaining as unaware of our neighbors as they are of us.

I think it’s important for us to know ourselves. But I also think it’s important for us to build bridges by knowing about others, too.

Ten Quick Facts About HIV

1. HIV is not spread through holding hands, hugging, kissing, or eating food prepared by an HIV+ person

2. You can only get the virus if blood or other fluids from an HIV+ person enter your bloodstream. The virus can enter the bloodstream though the tip of the penis, the thin membrane of the anus, the thin membrane of the vaginal walls, sharing needles, and through open cuts or sores in the mouth or body.

3. Oral sex is considered a low risk activity when it comes to spreading or being infected with HIV. If the HIV+ partner is on anti-retroviral therapy (ART), the risk is almost nonexistent. Saliva and the acids in the stomach do not allow the virus to survive. But any open cuts or sores in the mouth or body, or gum disease can increase the risk of it spreading. Using protection is still recommended for oral sex, especially because one can still catch other sexually transmitted infections without it.

4. Anti-retroviral therapy does not cure HIV, but it does slow the disease down significantly, which can allow an HIV+ person to live a full, long life.

5. Gay and Bisexual men of color are the most affected by HIV in the U.S.

6. HIV can be tested in many ways, including through home kits that can be mailed to a lab. Many clinics and LGBT community centers also offer testing for free. You can be tested through your saliva, a finger prick, a full blood test, or a urine test.

7. HIV does not live long outside the body.

8. Condoms, when used correctly, greatly reduce the risk of spreading HIV.

9. Pre-exposure prophylaxis (or PrEP) is a daily treatment that people can take if they are at a high risk of contracting HIV. If used properly, it can prevent the virus from spreading.

10. PEP, or post-exposure prophylaxis can be taken within 72 hours of exposure to HIV and can prevent the infection from spreading. The sooner it is taken, the more effective it can be. It’s only meant to be used in emergency situations.