(Hold Me) In The Dark

How I crave

Connection

How I crave

Touch

Hand holding

Cuddling

Kissing

Love making

Lost in a swirl

Of dreams and philosophy

Tell me your secrets

And I will tell you

What I see

When the evening sky

Is first

Caressed with starlight.

Create a tiny forever with me

With beating hearts

And stories that intersect

I could spend hours

Reading your chapters

But I could also spend hours

In the silence

In the dark

Simply connecting.

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Wings Take Time To Heal

I was not depressed
I was heartbroken
And those two things
Are not the same
When depression visits
She is dripping in a weighted night sky
While I take shallow breaths
Glancing around
Looking for stars.
When heartbreak visits
She is a volcano ripped open
A flood of hot red is everywhere
Followed by dull streaks of silver
That ask, “Why…why…why?”

Invisible Crown

You don’t need to wait for your Prince or your Princess Charming. You don’t need to wait for your knight in shining armor to rescue you. There is nothing wrong with wanting a sparkling, dreamy love story. You absolutely deserve to be adored and swept off of your feet. But that thing that you need to shine, that power that you need to breathe life into your dreams…that power has been glistening inside of you all along, dancing on the edges of your heart’s desires and waiting to be set free.

I Don’t Understand

There are a lot of things I don’t understand. I don’t understand power. Why some people want it, why some people have none. The way it divides dreamers, amplifying voices while silencing those who suffer.

I don’t understand love. Why we’re puffed up with dreams of sparkling romance, sheltered from the messy reality–moments of brokenness with a series of crashes and burns on the road to getting one right. No one ever tells you a bad ending can color a whole good beginning until it turns black.

I don’t understand life. The way that we spend so much of our lives caring what other people think of us. The way we spend so much time chasing dreams that were never ours to begin with. The way we internalize images from society of what our kingdoms should look like, only to feel ashamed if our crown is a little tilted.

I don’t understand happiness. It seems like such a frivolous, out of reach concept but we long for gurus to tell us over and over that it is possible if we can just stop chasing it. If we can be present and breathe. But I did my breathing and I danced and felt free, only to be a broken, sobbing mess less than twenty-four hours later. One moment I am flying and the next I am crushed under the weight of other people’s expectations. This human experience can feel like weights, like an abandoned ship, like something that is far too much to handle…

…and I don’t understand it.